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We’re finally back home after a short vacation outside the city and I had such an incredible time with my family. I came back feeling so grateful and blessed about so many things. Just seeing home again, looking out at the terrace, seeing my bedroom, how unmade we left the house and yet it sure still feels like home. These are the things I get to see almost every day which I tend to take for granted just because these are the things and places that keep me company during this "new normal”. And even when we’re almost closing off the year already, a lot of things about this new normal situation still feel new to me and I guess, they will never feel the same.

It’s been one of the toughest years so far indeed, this pandemic definitely took an emotional toll on us. The little inconveniences started to get frustrating, lots of things I used to love no longer excites me. There were thousands of questions and doubts in my head every single day, hopelessness, fears and lots of waiting. Waiting for things to get better, waiting for things to change.

We had to adapt because we have no choice, because life will go on regardless of how bad things can get. We have options laid out every single day and it’s mostly whether to keep going or to live each day feeling ungrateful. To do something or to not do something. To do what’s going to make you good, to feel whatever you need to feel at the moment.

Coming back from our vacation made me realize how great and important it is to learn how to let go and let life move you.

Setting aside all the pressure that’s making you all worked up without feeling sorry because you are doing this for yourself. You are important, too.

I realized how important it is to try to be present at every moment as much as we can, including the uncomfortable ones, yes. Because they all serve a purpose. For once, do something for yourself without questioning it. And when you get tired, rest.

Do something that feels right for you, something that makes you happy, something that makes you cry tears of joy, something that makes you want to have a good 5-minute cry just because it feels so comforting and feels exactly what you need at that moment.

It’s not really about running away from what scares or upsets you, it’s creating a space between those and just living, feeling, and breathing life at the same time.

I hope you find your pause every now and then.

I hope this reminds you that life is about you, just as it’s about everything else.

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We’ve been there.

Loving someone the best possible way we could, being better for them, doing better for them. And all along we think, yes, this is love. Because love is supposed to make you better, love is supposed to bring out the best version of yourself.

All along we’ve been there, loving someone whom we feel so strongly right for, the one we imagine going home to, waking up next to, going places with. Saying “I do” over and over because we never felt so sure, we never felt so happy, we never felt so right in our life.

But somehow no matter how much we are ready, no matter how much we are right for them, some people are just not ready for the right one. Not because you are not special or less than amazing, or too much. But most of the time, they are just not ready to receive it.

We can call it wrong timing, we can keep on waiting. But deep down, we know how much we deserve a love that doesn’t need proving, a love that doesn’t need waiting for them to see our worth.

We deserve a love that is excited for all the possibilities of who we are, who we are not, and who we could be. And in all those stages, for them, we remain to be beautiful.
You don’t need to prove you’re the right one for the right person. You don’t need to stay just so one day, they will start choosing you.

And while it hurts to meet certain people in our life who are just not ready, we meet them for a reason. To love, to know better, to hurt, to be better.

For the same reason we hurt, is the same reason we will be happy again. To love.

We’ve been there.

I hope this time, we know what to do.

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As I sit here writing on this empty page, seeing cars drive by, people walking, distant noises, everyone trying to get somewhere. Somehow, no matter how much I see everything, this moment right here, I feel disconnected from the world, and it feels so beautiful.

Today, like any other day, I am reminded of all my worries. Yet somehow, my worries felt distant. Like they exist outside my circle, there but not there.

At this moment, there are probably a lot of things we wish we could have had, a lot of experience we wish we could have felt, a lot of people we wish we could have kept. It’s an endless worry of not being where we want to be or not having what we want to have. But then I realized, maybe we are meant to be here, now, at this moment, where everything seems like a blur.

Maybe we’re still not there, because we are still in the middle of our process.

Maybe this journey is not about what we want, but what we need. A time to heal, a time to discover, a time to break, a time for acceptance. Maybe this part right here is not about love, is not about winning, is not about dreams.

But maybe this journey is about you, your fears, your doubts, your growth, the endless possibilities of you.

And if we just stop running away from what is present, we can finally start getting somewhere, by being here right now. I am slowly learning how to stop chasing time and just be present, right here. Because in here I am creating, in here I am moving. In here I am present, in here I am becoming me.

My love, you are here. This is your journey.
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