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At this time, we’re probably going through a lot of transition in life and it’s not always going to feel comfortable. The thing is, we long for change as if it’s something extraordinary. We long for change but not the fear, the confusion, the pain that goes along with it. Loneliness has never been so transparent these days, so transparent we can’t even unsee it.
Happiness has become a battle cry because we strive so much and work for it, we avoid the uncomfortable truth that is, pain.
These past few months have made me come into terms that pain is inevitable. Not that I’m not fully aware of it yet but this time I’m starting to learn how to embrace it, accept it not because it’s something that I want but it’s something that cannot separate itself from life. The same way that happiness is a just another form of emotion we’ve come to feel, pain is just the same way. It exists with us, it stays, it lingers and people avoid it because it’s unpleasant, uncomfortable and crushing. It’s a normal human response because we’d rather feel the pleasure more than the pain.
But that avoidance and denial doesn’t really fix anything. It prevents us from seeing reality as it is, that somehow, things just truly suck and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel exhausted, anxious and burnt out. It’s okay to feel insecure and hopeless about the future. Feeling these things make you become more aware of the things that are not going well in your life and helps you process what you want to change and why you want to change it.
Stopping what you need to feel at the moment only leads you to feeling more hopeless and defeated because you think you are not supposed to feel this way.
Stop forcing yourself to feel okay if you are not okay and just allow yourself not to be. Recognize it the same way you recognize happiness and rewards. Allow yourself to feel it, because that way you learn what you want to change, you learn about the things that affect you positively and negatively but more importantly, feeling the uncomfortable pain ironically gives you the drive to do things better. And that’s when you know you’re growing and moving forward, being able to see what is present and being able to accept it for what it is.
So feel sad if you must, be alone for some moment. Take time to breathe and cry. Allow life to move you, for not because you are in pain doesn’t mean life is not being good and fair.
Life is what you make it, life is how you respond to it. Life is how you embrace it, life is you.